My most important email I have ever sent is below.  It’s been a little over 4 months since my last day worked and I moved to a new state, so I thought I’d share my farewell email that I sent to my coworkers.  For the most part, early retirement has been great.  The most difficult obstacle has been in dealing with my parents.  They worry that I’m not working and constantly ask when I will start a family, both fun conversation (so taking applications from cute and chill ladies out there 🙂  ) Many liked my farewell email, as it matches my twisted sense of humor and is full of sarcasm.  I have only changed my social media and contact info and removed the name of the company.  This went out to about 30 something people that I liked that worked there out of 500 employees (not a single manager included because they sucked).  Sound off below, funny, stupid, have you dreamed of your farewell email and 2 weeks notice letter?

So here goes, enjoy:

 

Subject: Peace Out to My Peeps

Greetings,

I’m not really good at this touchy feely stuff (I’m also sometimes a bit of a slacker), so I am just using a template that I found on the world wide web and I’ll do this in a sort of “Mad Libs” style sort of way.

The instructions will follow, in case you need it one day.  My answers are in BLUE below.  If I forgot anyone…whelp.

PS.  Please open the attached video after you read the whole email.  It will have more dramatic effect (volume turned up).

Fellow <insert catchy nickname for your team> Life Partners™ (do we still even use that on our site),

It’s with <a heavy heart, a gentle sad face, a knowing glance> that I must share with you my decision to leave retire from a horribly run company<insert name of company>. This was <obviously, clearly, apparently> a very difficult decision to make.

It’s hard to believe that <insert how long you worked there> 13.5 years ago, I was the <insert your first position at the company> Client Outreach Specialist I. From that time, until when I was <insert next position> Client Outreach Specialist I, and all the way to my current role as <insert current position> Personal Financial Advisor I (wait, you can also use Client Outreach Specialist I here as well, same thing), I have grown so much. Thank you for teaching and inspiring me, and allowing me to do the same for you.

I am headed off to explore my next chapter <insert vague but exciting thing you’ll be doing.> of unlocking the left brain.

I’m excited about my future there, while I continue to be excited about all the things you’ll continue to accomplish here (except for you <insert name of person everyone makes fun of> Doug White), you never finish anything! (Just kidding bro, it was part of the template)

If I could leave you all with just one thought, remember

<insert sage advice>. 

If you ever want to get in touch, my contact info is below. This isn’t goodbye, our paths will cross again.

If you made it this far and you received this email, it’s probably because I either:

a)   enjoyed working with you

b)   enjoyed your witty banter

c)   hanging out with you was fun

d)   or you are just a pretty cool cat

I will be farming outside of Tucson, playing with Charcoal the Bassett Hound, doing a lot of biking, watching “The Price is Right” weekdays at 10am, and working on algorithms.

Virtual Hug,

<insert your name> Marc

<contact info>        m_emailaddress@email.com

214-abc-1234

IG: BamfMoney

FB: somewhere on there (https://www.facebook.com/BamfMoney/)

FYI:  http://thecooperreview.com/a-proven-formula-for-writing-goodbye-email/ (For future reference).

This communication and any attached files may contain information that is confidential or privileged. If this communication has been received in error, please delete or destroy it immediately. Please go to www.worstcompanyever.org/EmailDisclaimers for important information and further disclaimers pertaining to this transmission.

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